• Musings



    Being myself was an unheard phenomenon in my life for a long time. There was a time in my life where I always tried to be around many people to ensure something is always happening but never truly being myself. Because why not? I always thought of myself as an awkward kid or situations made me feel so. I was one of those kids who would never raise their hand in the class or would turn red if someone asks them anything. I still do. As I’ve gotten older, I have realised the way I connect with people is different from how people (specifically women) might usually do in the city I live in.

    My friends in school would stay at each other’s house, watch movies together, seem to enjoy each others company and have a lot of fun. Me on the other hand, I was never a first bencher or a studious kid who generally get bullied by other kids, I was a quiet kid with hardly any friends. I couldn’t relate to people in my school life and things were the same in college. Guys on the other hand were more relatable – because they don’t talk about crushes and heartbreaks and other useless shit. I was more fascinated by someone talking about some sort of music, or movies or a new place or something that would expand my knowledge in some way if nothing else. I never cared about going to parties as much as my friends did until I became friends with people who liked it a lot and I forced myself to fit in because honestly I didn’t want to lose my friends.  I forced myself to do things I wont be interested in otherwise. But you can’t drag yourself too much my friend, there comes a point when you are done with it and thats what happened with me because I didn’t feel like myself and I wasn’t happy with what I was becoming. Everyone around me seemed to fit together like an awesome jigsaw puzzle, and I somehow didn’t.

    That’s not how I pictured my life to be, I fantasised about finding a cool group of friends who would sit on a sunny afternoon in a park and talk about (honestly in Chandigarh) anything other than relationships, OTHER PEOPLE AND MONEY. I am really happy for a few good friends that I met in college/work and the fact that we are still good friends. But I still miss that like-mindedness and hobbies to share. Initially I use to feel there is something wrong with me, but I’ve made my peace with it. Now I feel happy with the fact that I’m comfortable with myself and I don’t force myself into things. I don’t like the pressure of socialising. Unlike most people my source of happiness doesn’t come from socialising. It is really good sometimes, yes. But I don’t come across people I would like to socialize with that often.  The funny part about living in Chandigarh is, (especially for women) even if you come across someone who interests you and you would like to know about them more, you just can’t ask it. You just can’t say – Hey, it was lovely meeting you, I would love to meet again over a coffee or something! Because people think you are weird and they don’t even give it a second thought.

    There are many advantages of being comfortable with yourself. For me, I don’t struggle with solitude. A weekend without plans doesn’t bore me –  I don’t get panicky that I’m not doing anything like other people. Before my wedding, I’ve spent so much time alone that it has helped me define who I am. It helped me to start this blog, read amazing stuff, helped me decide what I want, free from the expectations of other people.


    Until next time!


  • Music

    Musical Fridays – Classics and Music from TV shows!

    hey hey hey! HAPPY FRIDAY and look what I have here!

    A cheerful reminder that it’s time for another Musical Fridays post.

    img_7525 Musical Fridays - Classics and Music from TV shows!

    1. You keep me Hangin on – Vanilla Fudge 
    2. Cha Cha Twist – Ty Taylor 
    3. School – Supertramp 
    4. Feeling good – Nina Simone 
    5. Hold the line – Toto 

    I’ve been into all kind of music lately and I come across some really amazing music through TV shows. I never use to like music from TV shows, but lately it’s been getting better and better. So, the first song in the list – You keep me hanging on by Vanilla Fudge is really addictive. There are songs that grow on you slowly and some just hit you instantly. I came across this song through Mad Men and I loved it the first time I heard it.  I also like music from Breaking Bad, Crystal Blue Persuasion and Baby Blue are probably my favourite. Second song in the list Cha Cha Twist – came across this song in this REALLY COOL Tv Series – Vinyl. Just download the music from this series. Really. So bloody cool. There is another song called – Hand Clapping Song by The Meters – love that one too! School by Supertramp is pretty old, just wanted to share because I love it and Feeling Good by Nina Simone – I came across via Jockey ad.:) I am starting to enjoy to enjoy gospel music as well.  Sinnerman, Man! Hold the Line by Toto – is from Arrow Classic Top 500 songs of all time. Need no convincing! 🙂

    I hope you guys enjoy this music! 🙂

%d bloggers like this: