• Musings

    WELCOME 2018!

    8d4426cba314f4a0320fad96d705d3a8 WELCOME 2018!
    New year doesn’t really start on January 1st, or does it? I  don’t think so. I think it starts on the day you actually start working on your goals. You don’t really want to wait for a new year to make new beginnings and new resolutions.  If there is something you really want to do right now, it can be something really small or really big – anything that can get you one step close to your dream – it should be done right away! I don’t really believe in making resolutions because the moment you are taking about your resolutions – I feel you are already talking yourself out of it. Everyone does this including myself and that’s what I’ve observed most of the time. Whenever something sounds like a good idea or something you would want to achieve, most of us find a way to sabotage it before we’ve even begun. I don’t know why we do this ourselves and especially women.  I don’t know about anywhere else, but in India we are raised in a world that taught us not to become too ambitious, too confident, too self – assured. I don’t know why.

    8d4426cba314f4a0320fad96d705d3a8 WELCOME 2018!

    The day we land on this earth, some decisions are already made for us. Everyone, including ourselves tend to second –guess ourselves more boys through out your lives. While growing up, we are not allowed to do a lot of things because we are girls, and when we are able to take our own decisions, we say no to a lot of stuff because we are constantly scared of failing. It’s a very weird feeling because there is a time when ‘no’ becomes your default answer to many things. Things that we might want to do. Some of you might want to learn how to skateboard, but you don’t because first – girls don’t skateboard and second keep telling yourself that you wont be any good at it – so you don’t do it. When I was a kid I use to do that a lot, saying no to everything. Fear of being judged was deeply rooted inside me and it still is. With time I’ve learned how to deal with it but it still sometimes takes a toll me. I hate making resolutions because of this – I have talked so many times out of doing something that I planned to do. You don’t have to be extremely good at something new or worry about everyone judging you or their expectations from you because you can’t please everyone! That’s the truth. So give yourself enough time and space to figure out stuff you like, people who like or don’t  and whether not you feel like sticking with it or not. But try! Don’t talk yourself out of your resolutions, hobbies or experiences just because you fear being judged.

  • Musings

    How does it feel like to be an introvert/ ambivert?

    34aa3187e74523d7f47a95a8446b04341 How does it feel like to be an introvert/ ambivert?

    well, if you ask me – it doesn’t feel very bad. but here are few things that i’d like to share.

    • no one is a 100% introvert. it’s usually like a 50-50 ratio, in some, introvert ratio is slightly higher, like around 60-70%.
    • i usually speak on topics that interests me.
    • i am not rude, i just need my own private space. i need time to think and be back.
    • i may not be a very good talker, but i am a good listener. i may not be the life of the party, but if you need someone to share something important –i am there!
    • people usually trust me more for not revealing their secret ( which is true with most introverts)
    • i like the fact that i am very self motivated. i don’t need constant flow of people around me to feel good.
    • i feel lonely when i am surrounded by people who don’t understand me.
    • i don’t get impressed by social, political or career status of anybody.
    • i like interacting with people – it makes me feel happy and i feel confident about myself. but too much of it is really exhausting for me.
    • i love day dreaming
    • i like listening to music, drawing, arts in general.
    • i like to sit quietly and watch a movie or research something that interests me.
    • it sometimes worries me that i find it difficult to fit in with everyone else and just mingle.
    • i feel judged. a lot.
    • i have a strong desire for social bonds. very less though. basically people who can understand me.
    • sometimes i feel tired in the crowd. however, doing an artwork by myself – refreshes me.

    XX

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