• About,  Musings

    Math Attacks

    To be born and raised in a family of engineers is not easy. It gets even tougher when you have no inclination towards science or engineering. Almost everyone in my family can make sense of everything that’s written in numbers and variables except me. It comes naturally to them; it surprises me how quickly they can do calculations. Truth must be told –  I have very little mathematical talent. I use calculator to solve simple equations. Reading numbers more than four digits can be tricky for me. In all these years, I’ve noticed that people who are bad at maths are usually made fun of. I agree it takes a lot of hard work, but I don’t want to get that WTF look when I’m not able to calculate something or if I am slow at it. My brain just doesn’t work that way! I’m sure there are a lot of people out there who would look at some algebra problem and say – “screw this!”

    08d10a758a77b5a4b884f04b1471f986 Math Attacks

    I’ve had a very bad relationship with Maths and it not only screwed up my brain, but it also made me immensely scared of my dad who use to teach me maths when I was in school. Because he was so good at it and all my cousins were good at it – his expectations were really high. I would hide myself in my room or get myself busy with some other subject, make excuses or sit in the bathroom for a really long time to make sure I get as less time as possible with my dad studying my least favourite subject. Every evening he use to teach me, he was strict and I was an introvert kid (worst combination ever) – sometimes I would be trembling with fear when I use to do something wrong. Things got even more difficult for me when my younger brother would sit right next to me when my father use to teach me and he would just quickly solve questions verbally while I would be just starting out. I can’t even begin to explain how I use to feel.

    With time, the subject even got more and more complicated for me. I somehow managed to clear in Maths in my 10th standard and I literally couldn’t believe myself. Unlike other kids in my class who were fighting for who gets the highest marks, I was literally praying to get passing marks in Maths. The day I got my result was probably my happiest day in my school years where I realised that I don’t need to study maths anymore. The torture was over and I could finally choose something I really liked. In my school years, I sometimes use to be really hard on myself for not being able to understand the subject. But I had other talents and they were unleashed when I took arts in high school. For many, it was an easy field. Arts was for those who couldn’t do anything else. Thankfully my parents didn’t think that way and they were supportive. They didn’t push me into opting for science just to get validations from other people. I have seen a lot of parents doing that and I feel really sorry for their kids. Things are changing now, very very slowly though. People are becoming more acceptable towards change and  new careers like photography, fashion and so on.

    My life was completely changed in high school. From feeling miserable all the time for not being able to understand maths and physics, I was suddenly feeling good about myself . I was one of the toppers in my 11th grade and I still remember how I felt and how my mother burst into tears and was so proud of me. That was more than enough to boost my confidence for many years!



  • Musings

    I am more than what you see

     Please excuse the silence around here. I’ve been spending a lot of time with my cousins who where here in India for few days. Anyway, about two weeks back I watched Susan Cain’s Ted talk on the power of introverts and I felt someone has said stuff about that race of people to which I feel I belong. I was so overwhelmed after listening to this talk because it explained many of my eccentricities and it made my feel okay about them. It helped me understand myself in a positive way.

    08bf095ece21d4e266ab6808900e734b I am more than what you see

     For the longest time in my life, I’ve been around extroverts and I had a very different impression of them – I thought they are fun people, they like to mingle and move around in social situations, express themselves easily, more participative, more intelligent, in demand,  loveable and what not! And I, on the other hand – was very reserved in school, rarely use to raise my hand in class, was shy to talk to my classmates and teachers. And I am pretty sure it wasn’t some social thing happening just in school because I was  pretty much same at home with my family. It didn’t bother me at all till  my 7th grade, but then I changed my school in 8th grade and there  it was! Everything was new- school, teachers, friends and house – it was an eyeopener for me. As a student, teachers could see my potential, but I was not participative and interactive at all. But after 8 months or so – I could finally make few friends and it really helped me a lot to change and grow as a person.

    08bf095ece21d4e266ab6808900e734b I am more than what you see

     In school I was an introvert, but I somehow managed to do a little better and come under the ambivert category of people after many years. Going to college made a huge difference and it happened mostly because I was open to change – I wanted to let go off this hesitation within me and all I needed was people to support me and just be okay with me as I was. It helped really helped me to open up with people and express myself more. I am happy being an ambivert – I feel balanced and much more confident about myself.  There are a lot of things I hear about introverts and extroverts and none of them is completely true. It’s not true that extroverts are shallow or bad listeners and it’s not true either that introverts are sad or aren’t good public speakers!

    I guess people should just be themselves and should be supported for what they are and what they want to be (be that introverts to extroverts and extroverts to introverts). Everyone should be allowed to be themselves without being judged.


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